Integrity.

If there is one thing that has been on my mind more than anything this week, it would have to be the importance of integrity. And being a Christian and feeling as though you have been failing in this area is a tough thing to admit. I believe this wasn't always a struggle but it's been a more recent thing of conflict in my heart. It's much easier said than done, and that's the sad truth. Though it's something I've been thinking about here and there throughout the past few months, it's hit me more this week than any time...Tonight I was reminded of it when a friend and I were having a discussion after Wednesday night church. It was a hard feeling to stop myself midway through a judging statement towards another person, because I was guilty of the exact same thing they were participating in. And it's something I talk against constantly, but it's so easy to slip and before you know it, you've completely gone against what you once stood for.
It's a tough realization and it's something I am praying for progress in. C.S. Lewis states in Mere Christianity, "progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turn, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road..." I know I am a child of God and forgiven for my failures, but I feel like I've gotten distracted from my heart felt convictions and I need to make a turn to get back on the right road, like Lewis might say.
It's an amazing feeling though to look at the state of my heart and still feel God's grace and love towards me. I love the picture that is painted in Psalms when it mentions how the sacrifices of the Lord is a broken and a contrite heart. I know that He's able to work in my life when I am totally open and desiring His redemption, broken before Him. And from that, He can create something beautiful and new in my heart.

I'm praying for this new development in my heart this week.